Going through the vicissitudes of child rearing, I was joyful to hear my daughter’s first words. It was not long before those words turned to “I want, I want, I want.” This was soon replaced by “Gimme, gimme, gimme.” That was a long time ago. I have paid my dues. I have been patient. I have waited long enough. Now it’s my turn:

First and foremost, I want Client Access to work. Plain and simple, Client Access should work. I want emulation to work no matter what the connection type, and I want file transfer to work in all cases. I want ODBC to work and to work efficiently. I don’t want to create undocumented .INI files just to get translation to work. I don’t want to be a member of the PTF-of-the-week club. I don’t want to see icons telling me to send or receive, only to find out (by calling support) that a PRPQ is required. I don’t want to get 90 percent through a file transfer, only to find an SQL error message that has nothing to do with the failure. I want all of the features I used in Windows 3.1 to be present in Windows 95.

I want OPNQRYF to tell me how many records were selected. I don’t want to have to issue a Copy from Query File (CPYFRMQRYF) command to find out!

I want the person in front of me in the express checkout lane to have actually 10 items or less and to be prepared to pay cash. I want the checkout clerk to tell anyone else to get in another line!

I want to place a menu bar on any line of the screen. I want to be able to use a pulldown menu from another pulldown menu. I want to be able to condition items on a pulldown menu, just as the documentation says I can.

I want IBM to issue hardcopy documentation, just like it used to. It’s hard to insert the CD-ROM into a dumb terminal. It’s harder still to open two or more pages simultaneously.

I want to be able to define subfields and data structures within a physical file. I know all the arguments against this, but, since the flexibility would make life easier, I want it, and I want it now! I want to define a field in a physical file as an image. Imagine designing applications in which a personnel file contains a picture of the individual or a

parts file contains a diagram of the part! I want this image to be in any type of graphical format (bmp, jpg, gif, img, pic, etc.). I want to store this data on the AS/400 in native format, not in a folder and not in the Integrated File System (IFS). I want to be able to display the image on a native 5250 screen, if the display is capable. I want to be able to do this through SDA. I don’t want to have to go through APIs, or Ultra-vision, or WAF.

I want the driver in front of me to signal before turning. Does it make any sense to signal after turning?

Hey, remember all those nifty TAA tools that used to be available? Remember how your CL programs blew up after you went past V3? Some of these tools may have been used by programmers in programs long forgotten. The functionality was seamless and transparent, and then one day—bang!—no more TAA tool. Well, gimme, gimme gimme. It’s not fair, and I’m going to hold my breath until Microsoft turns blue! I want the tools back! I don’t want to pay anything extra for them. After all, they were free to begin with. In fact, let most of the tools be a part of OS/400. Why not? When was the last time IBM added any programming functionality to the command set?

I want IBM to keep its word concerning the periodic updating of CISC releases. Particularly, I want V3R2 RPG to have all the nifty BIFs available in RISC releases. While we’re on the subject, I want multidimensional arrays in RPG, and I want them as easy to use as they are in COBOL.

I want to be able to store zeros in a date field. I don’t care that zeros are not a valid date. I have too many clients, with too many applications, with too many zeros in the date fields, and I’m not going to redesign the software just to suit IBM. So gimme a date- defined field that is CCYYMMDD with no separators and with keyword ALWZEROS(*YES). As long as we’re talking about date fields, doesn’t it strike you as odd that there is no Julian date field CCYYDDD? I want one. The existing date data type for Julian is only YYDDD. Why is the Julian date data type the only date data type without an explicit century?

When I’m working with Display Job (DSPJOB), I want to see the I/O information on the open files display. I don’t want to have to hit a function key first!

I want the Report Layout Utility (RLU) to be easier to use. I want to stop issuing internal COBOL sort messages to QSYSOPR. I want to be able to specify titles when creating display output from Query/400. I want to know what a mutex is. I want IBM to start advertising the AS/400 in network publications, where you see plenty of NT and UNIX ads but never anything about the AS/400! I want users to be reasonable.

Finally, for all those friends and family I have lost to the folly of tobacco...I want them back!